that gall-darned swine flu is giving swyyne a bad name! solve it by making me give up bacon
in addition to making people even more paranoid about kissing pigs (don’t they have it hard enough already?!!!), the swine influenza is really giving swyyne a bad name. or, as some of my closest friends pointed out, i gave swyyne a bad name when, fueled by my narcissistic tendencies, I created a word that when typed into google search, returns “did you mean sweyne?” as the first line. no, i did not mean sweyne. i didn’t even know what that was until i clicked on it out of curiosity, thereby convincing google that a person actually did mean sweyne. curse you google!
anyhow, a couple (true) friends and my marketing mentor jim hopkinson of The Hopkinson Report have pointed out that perhaps this unfortunate event is a blessing in disguise. after all, whether it be for health reasons or to pine for the mcrib like this guy, swine hasn’t been on most people’s minds since the last luau they attended. so i’m turning this frown upside down with a challenge that i hope most of you cannot refuse:
if this post receives 300 comments by next week, i will quit eating bacon. that’s right, off the pork, cold turkey. to clarify, i’ll still be able to eat cold turkey, just not cold bacon. heck, to make it even more interesting, i’ll cease all of my pork-eating forever or at least until i am older and need collagen to keep my face up. the one exception to this will be visits to the yuen household because if i can’t eat pork there, i’ll just be eating water.
is this a blatant marketing ploy? probably. but i really hope everyone thinks of it more as a way to promote a cleaner, less wasteful lifestyle. i don’t know, i just keep thinking about those pigs walking upright at the end of animal farm…with no pants on. i think about that a lot actually. it’s not healthy. here’s the segue - wait for it, wait for it…
and neither is living this unhealthy, throwaway lifestyle that we’ve all become used to.
so come to the site, comment, and look around a bit for tips on how you can clean up your act a bit. help me make living a lifestyle where we’re more conscious about where our stuff comes from and goes to when we throw it an epidemic.
and i’ll stop eating this:
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and this:
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| yes, that is a snout. |
but i probably won’t stop doing this:
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does this city make me look fat?
as an urban piggy, it’s nice to see that our city (nyc) is so serious about helping us cut back on our calories. not only is the city’s dept. of mental health and hygiene requiring chain restaurants and fast food spots to prominently display calorie counts on those beckoning, backlit menuboards, they’ve gone a step further and have now launched a three-month subway ad campaign designed to remind us to moderate our intake. the ads, which feature calorie counts for favorites like huge apple bran muffins and chicken burritos, are in about 20% of city subway cars.
but wait, is it me, or is our city the least in need of such measures? overall, i think we’re a pretty skinny bunch, no?
apparently, we’re not even on the cnnmoney.com’s top 25 skinniest places to live list! the winner of that race is marin county, ca. i also clicked on most singles to no avail, although a shoutout to hoboken, nj is in order, youngest which we’re not on either, but congratulations for nabbing 25th place manhattan, ks, and hottest (don’t be fooled).
i’m just afraid that the ads will make me crave a burrito rather than worry about how many calories it is. anyone want to bet whether or not burrito and apple bran muffin sales go up this month?
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why is this a site?
swyyne has always been an experiment for me. with all of the other super eco sites out there, i've been feeling like i want to contribute something just a bit different. so for now, here are my random musings.
look for stuff
feed yourself